Cursico

Don't mind this kidney bean (of doom), I'm just... pushing that long, long, looooong journal off my page x3

What can I say? I like to be able to scroll up and down my page quickly... and now I can.

Yeah... so have a random meme.

Just, because.

ONE - Spell your name without vowels: … No, thanks. Think I'll pass on that.

TWO - Are you single?: Kidney Bean and Lima bean sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! xD Bahahaha.

THREE - What's your favourite number?: Don't have one… *shrug* My brain doesn't like numbers, it goes BLARGH with them.

FOUR - What colour do you wear most?: Possibly black… since black goes with everything. But I don't really pay enough attention to what I wear to really answer that.

FIVE - Least favourite colour?: Yellow… maybe…? I'm not all that fussed.

SIX - Favourite candy?: Gummy stuff! Gummy worms, gummy bears, gummy pineapples (What!?)

SEVEN - What do you smoke?: … I don't. Nasty habit, through and through.

EIGHT - Are you happy with your life right now?: Stressed out by University, but happy by other means. I just had the most amazing summer, so that counts for something! Just excuse my mid-life crisis… mind you, when am I ever NOT having a crisis? DramaDramaDrama! X3 I will call myself happy overall, though.

NINE - Anyone ever said you resemble a celebrity?: I recall no such thing.

TEN - What is your favorite class in school?: Biology.

ELEVEN - Do you shop at Hollister/DC/Bluenotes?: I've… never… heard of these places! I presume they are American shops. Since I've already had to change the American spellings of favourite and colour multiple times in this meme already.

 
TWELVE - How do you make money?: … Student finance… o-o

THIRTEEN - Who is your best friend?: Andypants<3

FOURTEEN - Where do you go to school?: I don't do school anymore. Not that I would answer that question anyway… damn stalkers!

FIFTEEN - Are you outgoing?: This is something that is extremely dependant on a number of factors which I don't even fully understand. I can be the loudest person in the room and suddenly flip to sitting in the corner quietly. Sometimes people mistake this for going from happy to sad, but usually it's the other way around- I'm loud when I'm stressed and quiet when I'm relaxed… at least as a general rule of thumb this works.

There are, of course, exceptions.

 
SIXTEEN - One word to describe you?: Kidneybean

SEVENTEEN - Favourite pair of shoes?: Since mine are falling apart right now… I don't have a favourite pair. But I'm having some new ones delivered (German paratrooper boots, whooot) so hopefully they will become my favourite.

EIGHTEEN - Do you own big sunglasses?: No, as cool as they are! Should probably get some… maybe… eeeeh, can't be bothered.

 
NINETEEN - Where do you wish you were right now?: 518 miles North, in Scotland… yeah, that'd about do it.

TWENTY - What should you be doing right now?: Compiling data for Biogeography… but I don't even understand how I'm supposed to manage that… so… myah!

TWENTY ONE - Do you have a crush on anyone right now?: LimaBeanLimaBeanLimaBean! <3

 

~HONEST SECTION:
Honestly, what's on your mind right now?: Honestly, what's on your mind right now? Is on my mind. What IS on my mind? Pfft, too many things.

Honestly, what are you doing right now?: Waiting for the practical session of Biogeography… in two hours.

Honestly, have you done something bad today?: I… I… I… Oh God I left a note on my fursuit saying "DO NOT TOUCH", which is pretty rude. But if anyone damages my fursuit I will flip my lid.

Honestly, do you watch Disney Channel?: Don't really watch TV, really. So… no. But I do still like cartoons and all that jazz #forever12

 
Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone?: Grandfather. Urgh.

 
Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?: I'm jealous of… rich people…? I want all the money! No, I'm not materialistic… okay… maybe I am… a little.

 
Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?: People. Bloody people!

 
Honestly, do you bite your nails?: *Chewchewchewchew*

 
Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment?: Yes, very much so! <3

 
Honestly, are you keeping a big secret right now?: O-o Well I have secrets, sure… but nothing that really affects anyone else around me.

 
Honestly, do you have a friend you don't actually like?: Eeeh, I do like all my friends, I mostly suffer from people Wanting to be my friend, and I just can't handle that socialising stuff so I'm all "NO!" x3

~THE CANS:
Can you blow a bubble?: A spit bubble? Yes… Who can't do that?

Can you dance?: I can do the finger dance! *Holds up my finger and bounces up and down*

Can you do a cart wheel?: HAH, not at all! More like a flail and a crash.

Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: I highly doubt that this is even possible. To answer: No, no I cannot.

 
Can you whistle?: Aye, I can whistle with my lips and do a pigeon call with my hands. I Can't, however, do that whistle where you put two fingers in your mouth, never seem to be able to make it work like that.

 
Can you wiggle your ears?: Err… No…

 
Can you wiggle your nose?: *Wiggles it*

 
Can you roll your tongue?: Yes… as an aside- these are all very boring questions.

 
Can you make a clover with your tongue?: What does that even mean!? Turn my tongue into a plant? I am a kidney bean, I don't have to work under these conditions!

 

~ANGER SECTION:
What do you do when you're mad?: Say angry things…? Really depends on the situation. I don't resort to physical violence, though.

 
What's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?: … Erhm… Probably pushed something over… maybe… I don't really do much but shout when I'm angry. Even then, the recipient likely deserves it.

Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?: Not to my recollection… *rubs chin* I'm going to say no to that.

 

~CRYING SECTION:
Ever really cried your heart out?: Eyyyyup. Who doesn't have a good cry every now and then? It's not something you're likely to see from me, though… crying in front of someone is something I try to avoid.

 
Ever cried yourself to sleep?: You can't cry and sleep! How silly! But I have cried in bed before, if that counts.

Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: o-o Yes, against my better judgement. Sometimes it can't be helped.

Ever cried over the opposite sex?: A few times.

Ever cried over the same sex?: Maybe… *rubs chin* I can't remember any cases right now, but it's probably happened, so…

Do you cry when you get an injury?: Depends on the injury. If it's bad, then yes. I don't get injured a lot, though. Lucky me *knocks on wood*

 
Do certain songs make you cry?: Depends on my emotions running up to that song. Then it's not really about the song… Best to say- if I am emotional already, then certain songs can tip me over the edge. For example: I dreamed a dream by Anne Hathaway in Les Miserables is the type of song that could set me b'awwwing if I listened to it while sad.

Do certain movies make you cry?: Don't really cry in films… but yes, there are certain ones that can manage it. For example, Sixth Sense hit me pretty hard and I cried for it. It's a very rare occurrence, though. Even if it's a sad film, I'm not much of a crier.

~HAPPY SECTION:
Are you usually a happy person?: I'm pretty grumpy… especially if I'm tired and I'm tired a lot. Mind you, I can be happy while grumpy Like a boss. So… I'm generally happy, but I'll not always Look happy, if that makes sense.

 
What makes you the happiest?: Right now? My lima bean x3 I'll just struggle through this last year of University and then I can get closer to him.

Does being with your friends make you happy?: Sometimes, but I'm not always up for socialisation… I often find I have nothing to say, even if I want to talk and this can make me become stressed. Other times, I just want to be alone.

 
Do you believe in yourself?: What am I believing in, now? O-o That I can achieve all my dreams? In which case… no… but I've achieved some things, sure. This question is certainly very vague, it makes it difficult to answer.

 
Do you wish you were happier?: Sure, just stick me with that needle of morphine and see what it does to me.

Is being happy overrated?: … No… what a silly notion. Happiness is very important, I'd say. If you're not happy, then you're sad, and being sad is bad.

 
Can music make you happy?: Yes, yes it can.

~LOVE SECTION:
How many times have you had your heart broken?: Not really had it broken. I've taken a few hits, but really nothing serious. Mind you, I am very much in a position to have it broken now, and I'll admit… that frightens me a little.

 
Have you ever loved someone so much that you'd die for them?: O-o Errr… I… I don't know. I'd rather it not come to that.

 
Has anyone besides your friends and family ever said 'I love you'?: Heh, yes, <3

~HATE SECTION:
Do you actually hate anyone?: Yes.

 
Have you ever been on a hit list?: I don't think so. If I have, then I have not been aware of it. I tend to keep myself to myself, so there aren't many people out there who really know me, let alone hate me.

 
Are you a mean bully?: Nah, but I am very opinionated, which can cause dispute.

Do you hate George Bush?: No, but he is a backwards idiot who deserves a slap. Good thing he's not in power anymore.

 

~SELF ESTEEM SECTION:
Is your self-esteem extremely low?: Average…? Maybe lower than average… Y'know, now that I think about it, most people have a lot of issues with themselves, so by saying average am I also saying it's low…? Either way, there are things about myself that I'm not happy with, but other parts where I wouldn't change a thing.

I am what I am, and what I am needs no excusessssss

 
Do you think you're good looking?: Noooope, but I manage to attract creepers anyway *facepalm*

 
Do you wish you could be someone else?: Be someone ELSE, no… but change parts of myself to create an optimum me? Well, isn't that all my alter ego Cursico is about? Can I be someone else; by being someone else that is also me?

I don't want to be anyone else who actually exists, but I do have a different self-image than reality.

~LOOK AT ME:
What is your current hair colour?: RAINBOOOOW! Hah, no, just kidding. I'm one of those brunette things.

What is your eye colour?: Brown (how boring!)

What is your skin tone?: Since I'm a quarter Jamaican, I am… browned…? I sense a recurring theme, here.

Current piercings?: Nooooooope! *Shivers* Needles… scare me…

 
Have any tattoos?: No, but only because I'm terrified of needles! xD Otherwise I would like a small fox one on my hip.

Straight hair or curly?: Wavy frizz. Wish it was straight.

 

~CURRENTLY WEARING:
What shirt are you wearing?: A fox t-shirt *SURPRIIIIISE*

 
Necklace(s)?: None.

 
Shoes?: A falling apart pair of Globe skater shoes… yeah, think I'm done with skater shoes now. Fall apart so fast!

~HAVE YOU EVER:
Hugged someone?: YES! Who can get through life without hugs? I was hugged the other day as I stood around doing nothing… No one can escape! AAAAAH!

 
Been on the phone until the sun came up?: Hell no. I hate phones.

 
Laughed so hard you peed in your pants?: No… o-o That actually happens to people?

Laughed so hard you cried?: Oh yes! At that point I usually can't breathe, either.

 
Got in a fight with someone?: Verbal and physical, yes… unfortunately.

 

~THE LAST:
Person you talked to in person?: O-o Friend who just left a few minutes ago…

Person you talked to online?: My mother!

 
Person you hugged?: Friend… the random hugger from before! Aaaaah! xD Different friend to the last I talked to, though. I'm not going to give out names, thankyouverymuch.

 

~RANDOM:
Do you like surveys?: Depends. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I hate the ones who give you a set of options of answer with… and NONE of them apply to you! Drives me mad.

 
Do you get along with your parents?: My mother and I are very close. The other one can BURN!

Do you have mental breakdowns?: Yes… I can get very stressed very easily.

~CURRENT:
Current mood: Bored, I suppose. One hour until Biogeography, then I can go home.

Current music: None… could put my iPod in, but meh.

Current hair style: Long fringe that pokes my eyes and a ponytail.

Current crush: Limabean, my limabean <3

Current thing I ought to be doing: Working out what the HELL I'm supposed to be doing for the practical in an hour.

Current windows open: Facebook… that is all.

Current desktop picture: University computer desktop. Can't change it, unfortunately. Otherwise it would be fox. YAY FOX!

~THE DIDS:
Did you ever get into a fist fight in school?: In school? No.

 
Did you ever run away from home?: Haha, yes… but I was back the very same day. My friend was the ring leader behind it, and then she just left me, so I went home. I'm not sure if this counts, though! X3

Did you ever want to be a doctor?: Yes, but then I found out the sheer amount of work behind becoming one… I'm not smart enough or strong willed enough to go through that.

Did you ever want to be a fire fighter?: Yeah… that died fast! xD

 

~THE DO'S:
Do you know how to swim?: Yes, yes I do. I like to swim… just don't like swimming costumes or swimming pools with anyone else in them!

 
Do you like roller coasters?: Yes, the adrenaline buzz is really quite something.

 
Do you own a bike?: Yeah, I bike 4 miles just to get to University. Yesterday I biked 10 miles to get to a wildlife park. Pfft, Do I Bike!

 
Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: What, as in "I'm a celebrity, get me out of here?" In which case, NO! I am a picky eater!

~THE DOES:
Does hair loss run in your family at all?: *Shrug* Not that I know of.

 
Does your car get good gas mileage?: I don't have a car… or even a licence.

 
Does your family have family picnics?: No… wasps always ruin picnics and I am highly allergic so… NO!

 

~THE HAVES:
Have you ever been on a plane?: Yes, I've flown to a few places in my time *smug git*

Have you ever been to the ocean?: … You mean the sea side, or deep into the water? Mind you, why am I asking? Both cases, yes.

 
Have you ever painted your nails?: I have, but I don't like it.

~THE HOWS:
How tall are you?: Last measurement I was 5"11… but I have a suspicion I've grown since then, since I moved from 7.5 size shoes to size 8s since that measurement.

How much money do you have on you right now?: I am not answering that one! Thankyouverymuch.

~THE LASTS:
Last person you hung out with?: People. You know, people. You want names? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THEM!

 
Last thing someone said to you?: "Aren't you coming? Or are you at the late?" (Yeah, work that one out!)

Last thing you said out loud?: "See you tomorrow"

~THE WHATS:
What are you listening to?: You've already asked this question! Answer is Still nothing.

 
What is the weather outside?: Overcast, little windy but pretty good for it.

What radio station do you listen to?: …? Radio, what's wrong with that radio? Have you seen my little girl, Cheryll… 10 years old, about this height, short black hair?

What was the last restaurant you ate at?: *Rubs chin* I… don't… remember… Possibly pizza express. I prefer take-outs and deliveries.

What was the last thing you had to drink?: Orange juice.

 
What was the last movie you watched?: The Lorax… it was okay. At least the parts with the Once-ler were okay.

The End.

Wow, long journal is long.

Well lately Sky has given me free movies for a month, and I've been chugging through films so laughably put in the horror section and it's got me thinking.

Why is horror so hard for directors to get their mind around?

Stop putting in ridiculously loud music (so much so that you are deafened and you can't even heard any of the actors talk!) when you want people to be scared. Stop with the ridiculous close-up shots of peoples nostrils. Stop having un-inventive deaths that have little affect on the characters involved.

Horror is something I have practically grown up on. At age eight I watched nightmare on elm street... it scared the living daylights out of me. Hellraiser was also a film that terrified me, but again when I was very young. They're not the only good horror films out there (I am quite fond of Scream, Final Destination, Saw-more of a gore thriller than a horror but whatever- Hostel, the Ring and others) but they are the only ones to make made by blood run cold and keep me up at night.

The majority of horror films lack the essence of subtlety, there is little to no atmosphere, death holds little weight, things are loud and over the top, cliché's galore. It's just so boring and predictable.

Like... people just make horror films because they think it is cool, or they know there is a niche audience wanting for this stuff (and this applies to video games, too) and so the consumer product just lacks... flair. I noticed this in the Saw franchise as it got longer- it just lost the heart behind it (everything past number 3, really) and was made in the interests of money.

On that- WHY ON EARTH WAS PARANORMAL ACTIVITY SO POPULAR!? I mean, really? I watched the entire first movie and I was just bored to death by it (pun intended). And people honestly told me that they were frightened by this? Maybe it's just ignorant words coming from a veteran- but that film was NOT scary in the slightest. Oooh, some curtains moved slightly on the CCTV... yeah... great... I don't give a shit.

Even tried paranormal activity 2- thinking naively that the bigger budget might mean an improved film (as the original directors had so little to work with) but... yep, also boring as fuck. I watched about half an hour before deciding there was nothing redeeming about the film. Then they went and made 3 and 4... and NO, screw that! It's terrible!

I can usually tell in the first five minutes if a horror film is going to be a dud or not. That's not to say I don't usually give them a chance. Hey, I'm watching The Barrens right now and it's near the end... and it's badly done to say the least.

It's so sad to see the genre just filled with so many amateurs who don't know the true skill of fear. It's got to be refined... you need to know what makes horror horrifying. Anyone who uses jump scares should be ashamed. Horror is a tricky one in that the pace has to be slow enough for the characters death to matter, the situations gruelling and the type that make you think "what if that were me in that situation?" (and not some stupid ass teenagers going into a haunted house all alone and acting like twats) and the death has to be cringe-worthy and inventive... not necessarily shown in full but not obscured so much that it becomes distracting, and the death has to have impact... it has to make a difference!

The film "Dead silence" was a terrible example of deaths having no weight or affect... at the beginning the protagonists spouse dies... and you don't see him cry once over her. Just... if the fictional characters don't even give a shit, why would the audience? Gore can become horror through the pure act of characterisation.

For example... and this is really a lovely, fine, stupendous example, if you do not know what I am talking about, please Youtube it or something because it is an amazing opening. In Scream the intro has a character who is very strong. She talks on the phone and the dialogue is entertaining and witty... before it suddenly turns sinister... and it is SO powerful. You care about the character immediately, starting off in a normal every-day situation and suddenly it all goes wrong for her. And there is just so much emotion in the scene. The actress is amazing, the dialogue is amazing, the pacing is amazing and it... GOD it is such a strong opening to a film that is also very good (but that first impression was still, I think, the strongest part of it and the feeling lasts throughout the movie).

That is the type of thing I want to see in horror films. I want to care. Add an S to that, and you get scare. Because you really need to care to be scared for the characters.

You can't get away with badly written dialogue, situations and characters in horror films... and yet it seems the genre is doomed to be full of it by writers and directors who don't know what they are doing.

I just find it sad.

... Well, that is all. Gonna go check out some more films now, see if I can't find a gem amongst these rocks.

If you know any good horror films (minus ones I've mentioned already) then I'd like to hear them ^-^ There's a good chance I've watched them already, but still!